...Or as it is better known, the race that leaves your three kids homeless.
DISCLAIMER [ This is a three part blog, the first part begins HERE
, It would serve you well to read it in order ]
The Derby race was an exciting one for us all. Between the four of us I believe we were set to win money as long as any of the horses, except the favorite, crossed the finish line. Of course, this did not happen, the favorite won the Derby. Which makes complete sense being that a 50-1 shot won the derby last year (wait a minute, I mean that doesn't make sense and fuck you.) We lost our asses. We did see some redneck piece of shit hit an $11,000 trifecta. We made this out between him yelling "Woo-Hoo's" and "Honey, I'm coming home". I also overheard him at one point in his celebration telling some guy he could "get him into the union!"
After the race we found our self intermingled with a crowed that was "Mardi Gras esque" at best and "The recent French riots" at worst. Everone was at least 16 and drunk out of their mind.
Thanks to the expert parking skills of fooie we were out of the parking lot in no time.
We made back to the House and were ready to PARTY!! How do we get down in Louisville after the Derby. 7 words! "Gangs of New York and White Castle"! Yeah, we spent the next two hours watching this movie and trying our best to talk using their dialect. At one point I believe I refered to Tim snikering someones doodle.
After this ordeal we all retired to our places of rest. We had fantastic dreams of money and power. The next day, Fooie and Pinger decided it would a good idea to try our luck at the boat. I was broke so I did not participate. But, I watched these two more than win back all of their money, they lost at the derby, in a feat so great it seemed like some sort of David Blaine magic show. Blackjack was the game, and kicking ass was their name (I mean reverse name and game and replace Blackjack with Craps, yeah thats it).
All said and done we had an exciting time. Mad props to my boy Moltar and his friends Ryan and Jessica for making the day even more exciting than Christmas.