Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Help me fight Global Warming on July 1st

I am officially announcing the first annual fight global warming the Brad way day. I might end up calling it the Brad way day for short. Here are a list of a few things I will personally be doing on July 1st.

1) Switching to Energy efficient light bulbs
2) Riding my bike 26 miles to work ( I will have to leave 3 hours early)
3) Speaking to at least 10 people on the seriousness of the problem.

These are things I will be doing. These last three things on the list is what I need your guys help with.

4) Lets all promise to hold our breath for at least 5 minutes out of each hour. This will eliminate our CO2 output and increase our earths life by 1 month for each 100 people who participate.
5) Get a fucking life.
6) Cork as many cows asses as you can.

Yes, on July 1st I challenge you to come to New Albany IN and help me cork as many cow asses as possible. We will naturally be using cork that is made from recycled wood. We will need volunteers to whittle the corks. A cork that will fit up an adult cow ass has to be a lot bigger than you think. We don't ever really get to see the diameter of a cow asshole because the tail is in the way. When you pull back that tail, it looks almost like an entrance to a smurf size cave. We will also need "stickers", "tail holders" and "distracters". The distracters will perform such distractions as; dressing up like giant corn cobs, lakes, and feed barns. I have rented 2 feed barn costumes. The tail holders will be vital in helping the "stickers" get that cork real tight and secure in the cows rectum. I know what your thinking, "Wont the methane just find another hole to come out of eventually?" Well.. I don't fucking know, Mr. doom and Gloom ...But we gotta start somewhere to save this damn planet. Remeber...July 1st. We meet at my place. Children welcome. God Bless a changeless climated America.


Blogger Bean said...

LOL @ "I have rented 2 feed barn costumes"

7:09 AM  
Blogger ScubaSteve said...

i saw a video of an afghani corking a cows ass repeatedly.

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as a cow i am offended that you think we need to be fooled to take a cork in the ass. red wine and sexy talk works much better.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this was hilarious, but you don't have to worry, because an ice age is coming.

"[Dr. Chapman] also noted that the world cooled quickly between January last year and January this year, by about 0.7C.

'This is the fastest temperature change in the instrumental record, and it puts us back to where we were in 1930,' Dr Chapman noted in The Australian today."

1:05 PM  
Blogger fooiemcgoo said...

I wish I could believe that. Wouldn't a mini ice age be convenient?

Funny blog. there was some :) and also some LOLing.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...

I am just dying. Who the heck was your Mother????

2:37 PM  

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