Golf, Sports, Mickey Mouse, Etc..

So, I have recently started playing Golf pretty regularly and I have to say, it is the hardest sport I have ever attempted. This has started me thinking about my sport playing past and that got me thinking that you all would like to know about it. So here ya go:

As a kid. Pre 6th grade.

Little League Baseball – I was the worst player on the team. I remember always hanging out in the dugout with this kid who hung himself with a belt from his bunk-bed a couple years later. I did get put into the outfield once when our first string outfielder was knocked out by a foul ball from the High School field. I got one hit all season that was promptly caught by the third baseman. I was so excited I even hit the ball but nobody else seemed to notice.

Little League Soccer – I think I was a little better at soccer but still not good. My only memory of playing soccer was not having on the same game shirt as the rest of my team. I think I lost my shirt and was forced to wear the closest yellow colored shirt that came close.

9th Grade

Tennis – Now this was finally something I was good at. I only was able to play Tennis for one year due to my accident in which I broke some bones. I did enjoy playing and even picked it up a little later in College and whatnot (for fun only). My biggest advantage while playing tennis was that sometimes the sweat from my boobs and stomach would form an outline of Mickey Mouse on my shirt and make the opponent laugh hysterically. Looks more like Winnie the Pooh now that I redraw it. No, I did not draw that picture.

Currently I get my ass handed to me at least once weekly by my cousin in racquetball. I do not really consider this a sport since 75% of the players are fat.

And Golf. …Which brings me to the reason I wrote this damn thing. The thing about golf is that you are basically playing against yourself. I guess the argument could be made for this with any sport, but it seems a little bit truer in golf. I guess “truer” is a word since it did not get underlined by my new age typing software. I have figured out that the best way to get a good golf swing is to do whatever comes natural and then completely disregard. The next step is to contort my body into the most unnatural swinging position and take a jab at the ball. It then Usually goes somewhat where I want. I am definitely getting better but have little hope of eventually joining the senior PGA tour. The nice thing about golf is that you can get down some things that work well, then read a golf article and completely fuck up everything you had right. I need some lessons.