Thursday, August 04, 2005

Side stitch

Does anyone know what causes this? Let me explain what it is. When you are running along and then suddenly it feels as if you are being stabbed in the right rib with a weed eater.

I quit smoking about 8 weeks ago. since then I have started running. I set a goal of running the mini marathon next May and running a 5k on August 20th. When I first started running I would get the cramp in my side all the time. As time went on, I changed my diet and drank a lot more water and it seemed to go away. Every now and then it will flare up for a second and then back off. The pain level when this happens is about a 4. Scale 1-17.5 (This is the international pain scale, not including Antartica..The cold does something to the pain which fluctuates the scale). Anyway, I run 5 days a week. Three days a week I do a five minute warm up and then run two 10 minute miles. These are my intense days. I am going to run the 5k in Lexington with a few guys from work, my progress on the treadmill has led to me saying things like "Hey liver legs, I am gonna beat you in that race like you are in some kind of retarded relay".

Since the race is a little over two weeks away, I decided I would run three miles outside today. I, my friends, have proven to be captain of the retarded relay squad. At on point the guy I was running with demonstrated how a grandma with a cain would be going faster than me in the race. The problem is side my side cramps.

I seriously think my legs and lungs are in good enough shape to run this race but I can't shake the side cramp. It came on with a vengence about a mile into the run. The pain was seriously at a 14. I had no choice but to stop. I asked my doctor what caused this and she said, "if I could figure out the answer to that I would be one rich woman." I hate answers like that. Just say you don't know. If anyone out there has any feedback that might help I would appreciate it. Any comments that might refer to me as having any of the following symptoms should not be posted as I have already thought of them; bitch tits, man boobs, my pussy hurts, bandaid on my heart, I should wear my somersault shoes, I am a baby, an infant, a girl, a man girl, I don't have the eye of the tiger, I should quit whining, quit bitching, "Just do it", or that I should suck it up. If anyone can really tell me how to lead the Retard Squad to victory, I would appreciate it.


Blogger Tara said...,,4v0,00.html

try going came up with this and lots of other stuff. Good luck at the 5K.

9:07 PM  
Blogger Bleach n Sheets said...

That page gave pretty good advice. Thanks. I will let you know if it worked.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous tim said...

i told you it was your diaphram cramping! do some more ab excersises you sweet-tart.

i told you that shit! and you wrote a whole blog about it? i told you!

and more blogs! about wacky boat mechanics! and candy-corn! goddamnit!

3:48 PM  
Blogger Bleach n Sheets said...

Here is what you said, and I quote..

"I have not had those cramps since I ran five miles when I was seven. If you weren't so fat....well anyway, I think those cramps are your fat heart getting ready to explode."

After that I blocked out everything else. If you told me anything about my diaphram, I was probably too emotionally hurt to hear it. I mean I heard it but couldn't listen. Because of the pain.

3:54 PM  
Blogger Cornfed-Inbred said...

"Fat heart getting ready to explode"? That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Got you motivated, didn't it?

11:37 AM  
Blogger Cornfed-Inbred said...

Just wanted to take this opportunity to laugh a those who are working today while I'm sitting on my ass eating Cap'n Crunch and watching movies.....It's 4:20 twice a day;) Hope you're having a great time reading this.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

I think the cause is the sand in your vagina.

Just kidding. Try to drink more water before you run and maybe start working your abs a little.

9:43 AM  
Blogger Bleach n Sheets said...

I do 60 crunches three times a week. I think this is a breathing thing. I just think it is hilarious that nobody is like "oh yeah, that, I know exactly what causes that". Anyone who looks like they would know the answer immediately, like a trainer, looks at me like they have no idea what I am talking about. Then they tell me to stretch. That is why I blogged and blog about it.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Cornfed-Inbred said...

I just registered for the Midsummers night run- my race number is 726.

8:22 AM  
Blogger Bean said...

I used to get those, and still do sometimes. The ones that hurt more the deeper you inhale. And here's what I do: Slow down the pace (let gramma pass), take deep breaths even though they hurt, and exhale really thoroughly. I mean, keep exhaling until there's not even enough air inyour lungs to allow a choking rescue via heimlich. Do this a few times. It works about 50% of the time for me.

10:48 AM  

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