Friday, July 08, 2005

The Onion

The onion is one of the funniest things on this planet. If you do not know what it is, check out the link to your right. I was sitting here thinking what the interview process, at the Onion, must be like. I imagine it goes something like this...

"what are your qulifications"

"Fuck you, you silly llama farmer"

"Your hired"

I think I would make an excellent writer for the onion. If you believe this to be true, please start a petition in your area and send it into the onion. It would be best if your petition was signed in blood. You know, to let them know your serious.

As a side project, I was telling someone today how a friend and I killed time on an 8 hour drive once by coming up with some most ridiculous bumper stickers. Here a few examples.

My grandma is in the trunk
My grandma is black and in the trunk
I am 1/26th seminole Indian
Latin lover for hire

Not sure about that last one. I think you all should post some comments and tell me some bumper sticker ideas. Have a good weekend.


Anonymous Pinger said...

Here are some less funny ones I thought of:

"Neglected Baby on Board" - this one would actually be one of those window yield sign things you stick to your window.

"Look Out, Retarded Guy Coming Through!" - this one would have a drawing of a retarded looking stick figure guy in a car.

"I Prefer Anal" - no comment.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Bean said...

"Caution: Keep back a 100 feet. Not responsible for flying objects."

Note that when you buy this sticker, you are also given a bag of rocks to wing out your window at tailgaters.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous pinger said...

Here are some others:

"I am fun!"

"I sometimes punch and rap" - from

"My uncle is Don Knotts" - I fuckin wish.

"I met Carl Lewis"

12:02 PM  
Blogger Bleach n Sheets said...

Funny Mike, as usual.

I have always wondered how they are not responsible for flying objects. Who the fuck would be responsible?

1:18 PM  
Blogger Bleach n Sheets said...

Also Mike, please include link to picture of said "stick figure retarded guy".


1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey preppy,
Just checking in and being reader #8 whether you want me to or not. :P Thought I'd contribute a couple of bumper sticker ideas of my own that pertain to certain people I might happen to know.

"My air conditioner's broke, it's 100 degrees and Mr. Fix-It isn't answering my call."

"You're so vain, you probably think this bumper sticker is about you." (Applies to many people I know such as co-workers, boys who want to be men and exes.)

"I make grown men cry." (Yeah, this is totally true by the way, happened just the other day. Actually, I don't just make them cry, I make them SOB.)

Well, about 9/10 people would think these are funny...are you the majority or the minority? Just bored and had a couple of minutes so I checked this out and thought I'd give you a comment since I know it will totally brighten your day (Riiight). Signed, Guess Who

7:58 PM  

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